Value, anxiety, and happier

Posted on by DieterL

Good stuff I found recently:

We give “value” to all kinds of things, some times in terms of money, and sometimes in terms of usefulness. Yet I think there is another set of values that we overlook at our peril – we value things by what we had to give up to get them.

My mother, until she died, was constantly worrying about what would happen to all her valuable things in the house. After her death we discovered that even though these things may have cost a lot of money, no one wanted them at the auction.

When she had selected and bought those objects, years before, it was with a view to demonstrating how far she’d come in life. She’d risen above her background to live a rather more glamorous life than her school friends. So, of course these things were valuable. She’d given up her home, her native language, and much of her cultural background when she married my father.

No wonder the objects she bought were so “valuable” to her. They were compensating her for all she’d lost.

THE “LAZY” HABIT OF ANXIETY

Anxiety! It can sprout as fast as mushrooms in a dark room. It seems to multiply in the closets of our minds. So why would we associate the word “lazy” with it?

Lazy thinking? We usually associate speed, racing, activity, hysteria, imbalance, over-functioning, plate-spinning, and other out-of-control activities with anxiety. But not laziness. Active and highly motivated are the attributes that come to mind in a word association with anxiety. Those folks who are anxious are immersed in the thought of failure, so like a scared rodent, they speed up the treadmill.

Yet could it be lazy thinking that prevents anxiety sufferers from pushing against the thoughts that seed this emotional terror?

Lazy thought habits fuel our anxiety. Yes, some have a predisposition to suffer from anxiety more than others. We know that anxiety can be an affliction. All humans have some degree of anxiety affliction. The continuum goes from very little to extreme.

Here’s the point. Continue reading …

Happier

“You are one hundred and ten years old. A time machine has just been invented, and you are selected as one of the first people to use it. The inventor, a scientist from NASA, tells you that you will be transported back to the day when, as it happens, you first read Happier. You, with the wisdom of having lived and experienced life, have fifteen minutes to spend with your younger and less experienced self. What do you say when you meet? What advice do you give yourself?” ~ Tal Ben-Shahar from Happier

With kind regards,

Dieter Langenecker

PS: If you want personal support in uncovering and implementing your life’s purpose visit Personal Mentoring

PPS. For free resources go here

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Ask Dieter June 2013

Posted on by DieterL

This month’s question from my portal “Ask Dieter: Directions
for living a meaningful Life” comes from Peter in Hungary.

How can we understand the universe and our role in it?

Thank you!

Hello Peter!

Thank you for your question!

Let me answer you with a wonderful analogy by Allan Hunter:

Think of it this way: imagine an apple tree. The apples are all different but all similar in basic ways – a bit like us. But you couldn’t have an apple without the twig it grew on, without the leaves and branches, without the trunk and the root system. And even with all those things you need the earth, which is just part of whichever continent you happen to be on, but is part of the planet. Those apples may all look different, but they are, like us, just the most recent expression of the creative power that runs the universe.

That is who you are. That is who we all are, and we’re all connected to everything and everyone else.

And remember this: each apple is a seedpod for the next generation. Just like us.

Our job is to grow and become the best seedpod we can be, in whatever way we feel is authentic.

Live a meaningful life,

Dieter Langenecker

PS: “Ask Dieter: Directions for living a meaningful Life” is a monthly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each month, I’ll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “Ask Dieter” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that in answering your questions I may provide you with wisdom inspirations that in committed application will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.langenecker.com/askdieter.html

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On Purpose

Posted on by DieterL

Have you ever wondered why some people, despite the challenges they face, their limited educational backgrounds, limited access to resources and seemingly insurmountable challenges turn out to be more successful than their educated counterparts with privileged backgrounds?

Have you ever wondered how they are able to start from scratch, from nothing, with nothing and attain staggering heights of success that their privileged counterparts can only dream about? The answer is simple – they had a different mind-set. It is not the facts or challenges that face us that are important; rather it is the choices we make and the mind-set we choose to have in spite of those challenges that determine success or failure.

I frankly believe that success has little to do with lucky breaks and far more to do with the mind-set of the individual; while I do admit that many a successful people had been in the right place at the right time; I will contend that majority of those who achieved success often started off with very little and “made their own luck” by having the right mind-set, commitment, discipline and hard work. The catch however is that often times, the right mind-set, the commitment and the hard work that yield success just don’t turn up on their own; something else has to bring them alive and that is a sense of purpose.

Developing a sense of purpose has the potential to be a powerful game changer. Taking the time to find out what our purpose is can save us years of misery and failed attempts and propel us towards true success much faster. I often find that when people have not determined their true purpose, they often go from one goal to another without really achieving anything concrete. It is purpose that aligns all of our thoughts, decisions and actions and creates that powerful focal point at which all of our energies can be directed.

A purpose is not simply a mere goal such owning a bigger house, a business, taking a trip overseas etc. A purpose is a goal so big that when it is achieved or in the process of achieving it, it not only changes your own life, but it positively impacts the lives of those around you. An example of such a purpose is leaving behind a legacy that will change the lives of those to come after you, your grandkids for example. I know it sounds like a lofty ideal, given that many of us are caught in survival mode, day in day out with little time to think of ourselves not to mention descendants – but you see therein lies the problem. Unless our lives mean something far greater than us and unless we are aiming for something far greater than ourselves, we will forever remain focused on the small picture.

Many make the mistake of thinking of their businesses or careers as their purpose. By viewing the business or career as the ultimate goal, we place a limit on the potential of that business and ourselves. However, by viewing our business or career as a vehicle to fulfill our greater purpose, suddenly our vision becomes expanded and everything takes on a much bigger picture. The business or career stops becoming the ultimate goal and become a cog in a much larger wheel. By creating a purpose far greater than ourselves, we raise the expectations for our lives and as a consequence, our efforts, beliefs rise in line with those expectations.

So, what is your purpose? Why are you here?

With kind regards,

Dieter Langenecker

PS: If you want personal support in uncovering and implementing your life’s purpose visit Personal Mentoring

PPS. For free resources go here

7 Reasons To Sign Up For Free LifeMentoring Tips

Ask Dieter May 2013

Posted on by DieterL

This month’s question from my portal “Ask Dieter: Directions
for living a meaningful Life” comes from Marisol in Mexico.

Opposite than the “mediocre people”, as James Altucher mentions in his article of the Seven Habits of Highly effective mediocre people, my life has been “successful” in many ways and for a lot of people: During the worst crises I got the dream job for many people, doubled my salary; when things were bad in the company I got an offer to grow, increased salary even when I was pregnant, no discrimination at all. I can work from home sometimes. Besides that part I got my dream job as a teacher in a recognized university, I am also starting my business in something I love AND it is growing! (not yet that much that allows me to leave my job but it is in the correct path). All this seems to be pretty and amazing if we consider that I am less than 30 years old but it doesn’t fullfill me, I wake up tired everyday in the same routine day after day, more than one time a day I wish I could leave everything, take my family and go to a small village to grow my own food or going to do social service to a country in need and teach my child that way of life. Then I go back to my reality and get afraid that that is too radical, that I should enjoy my perfect life because that is what everybody is expecting to do. I think I should be patient to let my business grow and then retire. But I don’t want to be too old to retire, I dislike so much and feel sorry for the people around me that have been doing the same routine for the last 20 years expecting a better time when they can be independent. DEFINITELY I don’t want that. Since my husband is studying I am the only source of income in our starting family. I am too crazy when I think I should run away, hug my family and spend more than 1 hour with them everyday? when I believe I should renounce to a successful life?

Thaaaaank you Dieter!!

Hola Marisol!

Thank you for your question!

I think the key part of your question is the difference between what you really want do and the part where you say: “because that is what everybody is expecting to do”. It seems to me that the major reason why you are torn between these two points, moving (mentally) forth and back is because you have not come to a clear conclusion what is your real true meaning and purpose on this planet. All the answers you have come up so far are half hearted only, so none is giving you real satisfaction (despite all the “success” according to the standard, material definition).

It took me years, not to say decades, to find the right answer for me. And the reason why it took me so long was that my approach was wrong; or at least single-sided; we are brought up to solve a problem by THINKING: analyse the situation, evaluate the options, and go for the most “reasonable” one.

And this way we are reducing the framework of our decision base to a (small) portion – the outside world, which is mainly based on knowledge, logic and material criteria only. And neglecting almost completely the part, which is the real base for any important decision in our life: our own inner wisdom.

I’d therefore suggest a different (and I admit, unusual) way: approach your inner wisdom. It is there, it is just hidden away, allowed to surface only occasionally (ask yourself, looking back in your life: were your most important decisions based on logic or on your guts feelings?). It is only that while we have learned to “manage” the outside world and its resources, we have never learned to do so with our inside resources; even less so to do so consciously.

And how can you do so?

The answer is simple: meditate. (I told you, it will be unusual). Meditation not as a spiritual practice, but rather to reduce the permanent flux of thoughts programmed into our brains by education, culture and society rules. And this way allow your own inner wisdom to surface. With your own answers. Like, what is really, really, really important to you? What can you do with your talents for your own benefit and the one of your social environment?

Because we know that deep down, inside ourselves, we have basically all the answers to the nagging questions.

And as an added benefit, once we allow this inner wisdom to emerge it will also give us the strength to implement it into day-to-day life. Regardless of the opinions of others or the so-called obstacles.

If you have never done meditation you might want to read a recently published excellent book on how to get started: Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace) (Chade-Meng Tan); written in a funny and profound way. And/or e.g. visit zenecagate.ning.com . And/or simply keep your eyes open for anything regarding meditation which will come across your way from now on.

Trust yourself.

Un abrazo and live a meaningful life,

Dieter Langenecker

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Where Do I Start? (Ask Dieter)

Posted on by DieterL

This is the first issue of “Ask Dieter”, a monthly no-cost program that is open to everyone!

Thank you for all the 28 questions I’ve received, keep them coming! I’ve answered all of them, and chosen the first one to come in to be published here:

This month’s question from my portal “Ask Dieter: Directions
for living a meaningful Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

I have been trying to write a Paper for University, which I consider to be very important, as it demonstrates the possibilities for a huge shift in how care can be delivered for each individual, sensitively, and in a way that each finds comfortable.

Because of the importance of this work, I am not happy submitting anything less than my best effort. However, personal difficulties, illness, lack of finances and lack of support have left me feeling demoralized, lacking the drive and passion that required to finish the work.

I do not believe that I lack staying power or perseverance. I am extremely persistent once I have started. But I have now started this work so often, that I feel defeated before I start.

How do I overcome this?

Hi and thanks for your question.

Apparently something is blocking you. And I’m not primarily referring to the outside events. And in a way you are giving the answer yourself: “lacking the drive and passion that required finishing the work”, aren’t you?

Frankly, this has happened to me many times as well (and still does): contemplating about a great new project, business idea and it’s implementation, a conversation I should have with someone, whatever. And then – all of a sudden – problems popped up. Both from corners I never would have expected it, as well as things I should have dealt with before, but haven’t.

Painful experience let me to the conclusion that there is a bigger obstacle behind all of this:

I had no clear answer to the question why I really wanted to do it. Sometimes it was simply to make money, other times to really help people solve their problems, and other times it was something I considered utterly unjust and in need to be corrected, sometimes it was just to prove that I can do it (as well, or even better than all others), or to get recognition from the people I considered important.

Now I’m not saying that any of these (or any other) reasons are bad. I only need to become aware, really aware, of why I want to undertake something.

And then you are left with two options: a) the idea looses it’s appeal; because it was just a placeholder for something much more important you should deal with. Or, understanding the real “why” gives me the needed kick to finally get started. With positive inspiration, inside-out.

So 1^st, answer to yourself the question why you really, really want to do it. And then, be reasonable and follow your guts feeling – forget it or go for it, with a completely different kind of energy.

Live a meaningful life,

Dieter Langenecker

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Change occurs GRADUALLY, not all at once!

Posted on by DieterL

One of the most pervasive beliefs I see that stops people from manifesting their purpose and their goals is that change and inspiration is this huge quantum moment that happens all at once.

It’s just not true.Change happens one day, one moment, one step at a time. It’s 10,000 small steps that add up to a big leap.

The good news is that all you need to do right now is take one step. The tough news is that there’s a BUNCH of these small steps that you need to take to make the transformation you are dreaming about a reality.

Sorry.

It’s not the best news in the world, but what’s rad is that all you need to do is focus on the next step. Not the third step, or the 100th step, just the next one.

Life is all about just putting one foot in front of the other and taking that step. That step is what it’s all about it. The NEXT one. I’m all about just doing the next step.

Sure, I plan and plan. But I only ACT one step at a time. It’s SO easy to get caught up in the hypothetical outcomes that we never actually take action. I truly believe that inspiration doesn’t just come; it usually comes as a byproduct of taking action. It’s in the action that we learn and change course. It’s in the action that we reality test and see which strategies work and which don’t. It’s in the action that we become more, we learn, we grow and we eventually make our dreams come true.

So many people think that this will happen all at once on one magical day. That’s not how it works. It’s a process, and sometimes a slow one at that, because The Divine needs to prepare us to live our best lives. And that sometimes means trials, setbacks and suffering – not as punishment, but as preparation for truly being able to give our gifts to the world.

The BIG goal happens one step, one moment and one action at a time.

What’s your next step?

With kind regards,

Dieter Langenecker

“Ask Dieter”

Posted on by DieterL

Already 17 questions have come in, excellent! Keep them coming, I’ll answer all of them, and one will be published April 13th, 2013; see www.langenecker.com/askdieter.html

Dieter Langenecker Purpose Counseling & LifeMentoring

Category Archives: mentoring

Value, anxiety, and happier

Ask Dieter June 2013

Dieter Langenecker

On Purpose

Ask Dieter May 2013

Dieter Langenecker

Where Do I Start? (Ask Dieter)

This is the first issue of “Ask Dieter”, a monthly no-cost program that is open to everyone!

Thank you for all the 28 questions I’ve received, keep them coming! I’ve answered all of them, and chosen the first one to come in to be published here:

Dieter Langenecker

Change occurs GRADUALLY, not all at once!

“Ask Dieter”