My monthly “My Favorites” routine includes posting links to great content I ran across, to encourage you to check them out if they sound interesting for helping you to live a meaningful life. Enjoy!
What the Bleep Do We Know: Down the Rabbit Hole
10 Misconceptions about Buddhism
In the new series 10 Misconceptions about Buddhism, scholars Robert E. Buswell Jr. and Donald S. Lopez Jr. will expand on one of these popular misconceptions. Read the summary here
On Making It Through Tough Journeys
A reader wrote to me about a very tough journey he and his wife are setting out upon, and asked for some words of advice or motivation though this tough time.
Difficult times can be a test of our souls, and as such can be some of the most instructive times possible.
It’s easy to be happy and motivated when things are going well. But what happens when they fall apart, or unexpected troubles come your way, or things go exactly as you don’t want them to? What do you do then?
There are internal emotions and external emotions. The difference is important (not only) in marketing, persuading, selling. Excellent article by Dr. Ing. LUCIANO BIONDO.Read it here
Freeing the Soul
Beautiful article by my good friend Linda. Read it here
A craftsman masters his trade by repeated practice, with care and continual learning, with devotion to the purpose.
It takes the same kinds of things to master the craft of discipline:
Repeated practice
Single-minded devotion to the purpose
Continual learning
Care
I’ve been giving some thought to what it takes to master the craft of discipline, and have been following some practices that I’ve found extremely useful:
Do the task even when I’m not in the mood. Procrastination is such a common problem that I believe it to be universal. The main reason we procrastinate, without admitting it to ourselves, is, “I’m not in the mood to do this.” The task is probably difficult or confusing, and so it’s uncomfortable, and you’d rather go to things that are easier, that you’re good at. You’d rather clean your house or trim your nails or check your email than start writing the next chapter of your book. But if we wait until we’re in the mood, we’ll never master life. Instead, practice this: set yourself to do a task, and start doing it, no matter what. Don’t let yourself check email, or social media, or go clean something, or do a quick chore or errand. Sit down, and do it. It will be uncomfortable. You can still do it even if it’s uncomfortable.
Exercise even when you really don’t want to. Yes, this is the same thing as procrastinating – we put off exercise for many reason, usually because it’s hard and we’d rather do something easier. But I look at it as something I need to do to take care of myself, like eating healthy food and brushing my teeth. You wouldn’t skip brushing your teeth for a week, would you? Your teeth would rot. Similarly, skipping exercise for a week rots your body. Instead, practice this: tell yourself you’re going to do a workout/run at a certain time, and then show up. Do it even if you’re tired or feeling lazy. Ignore the lazy feeling, the distractedness, and suck it up. You’ll find that you feel great for having done it. Either way, you’ll start to master doing things that are uncomfortable.
Sit with a little hunger. We tend to panic when we get hungry, and run for the nearest junk food. What I’ve learned is that you can be hungry and it’s not the end of the world. We don’t always need to be stuff and satisfied with crazy delicious food. Instead, practice this: don’t eat if you’re not hungry. When you get hungry, sit there for a moment and turn to the hunger, and see how it really feels. It’s not so bad. This practice isn’t to make you starve yourself (not great), but to show you that a little discomfort won’t ruin your life, and that you can make conscious choices about when and how much to eat.
Talk to someone about something uncomfortable. We avoid difficult conversations, because they’re not fun. They’re scary, uncomfortable. But that leads to all kinds of problems, including resentment, a worse relationship, worsening of the situation, and more. Instead, practice this: When you have a problem with someone, instead of replaying the problem in your head, talk to the person in a gentle, compassionate way. Try to see the situation from their point of view, not just yours. Bring it up with a simple, “Hey, can we talk about ___?” And tell them how you feel, without accusing them or making them feel defensive. Ask them how they feel about it. Approach it with the attitude of finding a solution that works for both of you, that preserves your relationship. What you learn from this is that pushing through this uncomfortable situation will resolve a lot of difficult problems.
Stick to a habit. One of the hardest things people face with changing a habit is sticking with a habit after their initial enthusiasm dies down. It’s easy to do a habit for a week – but what about pushing through the second and third weeks? It gets a lot easier after those weeks, but a lot of people drop the habit too early. Instead, do this: Commit to one small habit for two months. Make it just 5 minutes a day, and do it at the same time each day, having as many reminders set up as possible so you don’t forget. Track the habit on a calendar or log, so you see your progress. Show up every day and do it. You’ll start to master the formation of new habits, which will open up all kinds of changes.
Turn toward the problem. When we have a problem, often we avoid even thinking about it. Think about whether you have one of these problems: you’ve been avoiding exercise, you’re overweight, you’ve been avoiding a major project, you put off dealing with your finances, you’re unhappy about some situation in your life. Often these are uncomfortable situations, and we’d rather not face them. Instead, practice this: See the obstacle as the path. Don’t avoid the obstacle (the difficult situation, the problem you fear), don’t go around it, don’t ignore it. Turn toward it. See it. Acknowledge it. Figure out what’s going on. Find out how to navigate within the problem. You’ll find that it’s not easy, but not as bad as you thought, and you’ll be happy you did it. And more importantly: you’ll get stronger from facing the problem.
See the good in the activity. Discipline is really learning that you don’t need some incredible reward – there’s inherent good in just doing the activity. For example, if you’re going to eat healthy food, you don’t need to make it taste like your favorite dessert or fried food (rewarding food) – you can just enjoy the activity of eating fresh, healthy food. If you’re going to exercise, it doesn’t need to give you a flat stomach or nice arms – you can just enjoy the activity. Practice this: No matter what the activity, find the good in doing it, and the activity becomes the reward.
Meditate. People think meditation is difficult or mystical, but it’s fairly simple. Practice this: Take 2 minutes to sit still, and focus on your breath, noticing when your mind wanders and gently returning to the breath. There are lots of other ways to meditate, but this is the simplest, and it shows you how to watch the urges that come up, and see that you don’t need to act on those urges.
You might not be good at these at first, but that’s why you practice.
You’ll learn, through these practices, to get good at discomfort, to show up even when you don’t feel like it, to stick to something even when the enthusiasm wanes, to not act on your urges right away, to enjoy any activity as a reward in and of itself.
Does life need to be pure discipline and no fun? Of course not. But if you can enjoy any activity, in the moment, why not learn to master something that will pay off for you in the long run? (Leo Babauta)
With kind regards,
Dieter Langenecker
PS: How can you live a really meaningful life? Visit
“The yardstick of success is not measured by fame and wealth; it is measured by your level of understanding of who you are, why you are here and where are you going from here.” (Tulshi Sen)
Have you led a successful life to date but do not feel satisfied and want to create something really meaningful?
Have you had a crisis, separation or significant change, or are in a new or difficult phase right now?
Do you have a drive for something, but just are not sure what you want or what is possible, or where exactly you should take your talents for living a really meaningful life?
Instead of resigning yourself to the current situation, you feel the urge to give your life a positive shift
What is in for me?
Define your real meaningful purpose in life, and find ways how to live it.
What is Personal Mentoring?
Mentoring is not about having someone else motivate you to do the things you don’t want to do but know you should do.
It is about supporting you in a non-threatening way, in a manner that you will appreciate and value and that will empower you to move forward with confidence towards what you really want to achieve.
Mentoring is about clarifying what you really want, and finding a sustainable, exciting, and fun way for you to be and do what you want.
How does it work? Prerequisite: you are ready to let go of all excuses and stories that are holding you back and (re-)discover and live your life’s meaningful purpose.
Admission to the Summer School LifeMentoring program is by invitation only. You have to apply and be accepted and many do not make it. I am looking for persons who really want to find their meaning in life and live it, and are now ready to climb higher mountains and reach new pinnacles of achievement. If you are a qualified individual, the Summer School WILL deliver.
Have a look at the 3 minutes video explaining the LifeMentoring philosophy:
If we do decide to work together, then usually we follow the following approach:
We’ll work together in groups of max. 3 people, twice a week (2×60 minutes), online via skype. Typically, in the early sessions we’ll review your present situation, and build a deep understanding of what is really, really important to you.
Then we’ll figure out the most effective approaches for you how to get there. And implement these approaches. Although, of course, this may vary significantly based on your specific needs.
The duration is 6 weeks (taking place in July and August 2015), with a total of 12x 60 minutes sessions plus email access and feedback in between. You can choose your preferred session times.
The fee for the Summer School is contribution based. Suggestion: minimum € 600,- (approx. US$ 650,-), usually € 750,- (approx. US$ 825,-) to € 1200,- (approx. US$ 1300,-). You will only pay after the first session (Discovery Session, usually lasts up to 2 hours).
Registration and Acceptance
What you maybe still are concerned with “is this the right approach for me?” And the truth is, I don’t know. It may, or it may not.
The first step to tell, at least initially, is for you to send your application. DEADLINE: May 31st, 2015
If your application is accepted you will receive an invitation to schedule a free Discovery Session.
A Discovery Session is a 2 hours powerful online mentoring session with me where you’ll have the chance to identify your strengths, your values and your idea of a great life (or a great business). We’ll uncover your limiting beliefs and the ways you self-sabotage, and come up with an action plan for moving beyond these barriers.
At the end of that session we should have developed a pretty good sense of whether to continue working together would be a good fit and would help you get the results you’re looking for.
If we both agree to continue you will be able to schedule the Summer School sessions, and make your contribution.