To be “viable”, livable, or merely practical, life must be lived as a game – and the “must” here expresses a condition, not a commandment.
It must be lived in the spirit of play rather than work.

Alan Watts

Crises provoke insight. And so it is with the publication of Balanced Leadership in Unbalanced Times by Robert Pasick Ph.D. As titles go this one is a winner, but the content is even richer. Inside is packed with the kind of insight and guidance that can only come from decades of coaching by a leading practioner in his field, Dr. Pasick.

Here are five things that resonated with me.

Find your balance points. The book provides insights into establishing routines that do simply allow you to get the work done, but also to find a point of grounding. This is essential for navigating the challenging times in which we live.

Have a dream . No use staying centered if you cannot grow. So, as Dr. Pasick suggests, find your dream and pursue. He relates the story of the development of the DuraHeart, a long-term patient support cardiac device, that is now undergoing clinical trials. It, too, began with a dream.

Know your EQ . As the saying goes, IQ gets you hired; EQ gets you promoted. The book provides insight into balancing emotions and connecting to others.

Be disciplined . This is a favorite of mine. Too often we think that if we try hard enough we will succeed. This is not the case. You need to be disciplined in how you balance what you want to do and how you do it – in your work, your personal life and in your community. Discipline is critical to getting things done correctly.

Learn to walk side by side . Too often our society rewards one upmanship, e.g. I am better than you so watch out. So it’s good to read of how Rob and his wife, Pat, also a clinical psychologist, have a marriages of equals. Their journey to Rwanda, where Rob and Pat taught government officials seeking to rebuild a nation destroyed by genocide, is a classic example of their partnership. As Rob says, “All of us have resources to share. All of us should look for ways to walk side by side with others.”

Dr. Pasick is a friend and colleague and so I am not surprised how well this book reads. But this book is one that is not meant to be skimmed; it should be pondered. The book’s design, complete with lined notes pages in the form of a coach’s playbook, complements the reflection process.

Get acquainted with Balanced Leadership in Unbalanced Times and restore some sanity to your daily life. You are in good hands with Dr. Pasick.

John Baldoni

“Courage is not a freedom from fear; it is being afraid and going on. Once you have looked fear in the face and have overcome it, you can do it again and again.”
– Anonymous

How do you measure how much a loved one loves you?

Maybe by the flowers they send. Or the attention they pay to you. Or the look in their eyes when they talk to you, or their curiosity about what you’re doing lately.

You could, in fact, measure each one of those things. Some are easy, like flowers. Others, like curiosity, need decomposing into second-level indicators – how many questions they ask you, the operative pronoun in those questions. The point is, you could do it.

But would you?

Would you ever mistake the measure itself—roses, say—for the love they purport to measure? Of course not. It seems silly to equate the two; the poor sucker who does so is sadly self-deluded and likely unlucky in love.

Roses may be the measure of love–but are not love itself.

Now switch to business. How do you measure success in business? How about by the profits you make? After all, if you create great products that meet real needs in the marketplace and add real value in a customer-delighting manner—well, you’ll get rewarded for it, in the form of profits.

Profits are to business what roses are to love–measures.

So, would you ever mistake the measure—profits—for the success they purport to measure? Do profits really equal success?

Unlike love-and-roses, all too often our answer is ‘yes.’ Yes, we say, the whole point of business is to make profits. Success consists of making money. It seems silly, we say, to differentiate between the two–the poor sucker who does so is sadly self-deluded and likely to get fleeced by sharper competitors.

In amore, we know the difference between love itself and pale trailing indicators of its recent presence. But in business, we confuse the yardstick with length itself; we’ve lost the ability to distinguish maps from reality.

When did profit move from being a measure of success, to being iconized as success itself?

Thinking that the point of business is to make money is like thinking the point of living is to eat. Profit is a byproduct of doing great business—an indicator. Not a goal.

If all you focus on is roses, you’ll at least have flowers at the end of the day; but you’ll fail at love. In business, if all you focus on is profits, you won’t even get that. Because, simply, we don’t trust people who are only in it for the money.

Charles H. Green is founder and CEO of Trusted Advisor Associates; read more about Charlie at http://trustedadvisor.com/cgreen/