In our rush to get through the tasks of our day, to complete our errands and answer emails, to look at the next video or link we find … when do we think we’ll find happiness? If it’s not here right now, when will it come? Maybe we think it’ll come when we improve our lives, or meet our goals, or succeed at our business, or finish our college degree. Maybe it’ll come when we go on that next trip, or when we find time to relax. Maybe tomorrow. Or we could try this:
Let the beauty of this moment wash over you like a warm foamy wave. These are all things we already know. But we don’t actually do them. The key here is practice. If you don’t practice being present, slowing down, enjoying the moment right now, when will you practice? What are you practicing now instead? Start your practice this moment. (Leo Babauta) With kind regards,
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Dieter Langenecker
PS: You know the drill by now – this is the part of the email when I tell you how great LifeMentoring is and how you can learn some of the most powerful approaches to life a really meaningful and fulfilling life right now.
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Category Archives: langenecker
My Favorites April 2015: Great Stuff I’ve Found Recently
10 Misconceptions about Buddhism
On Making It Through Tough Journeys
A reader wrote to me about a very tough journey he and his wife are setting out upon, and asked for some words of advice or motivation though this tough time.
Difficult times can be a test of our souls, and as such can be some of the most instructive times possible.
It’s easy to be happy and motivated when things are going well. But what happens when they fall apart, or unexpected troubles come your way, or things go exactly as you don’t want them to? What do you do then?
Leo Babauta. What else; continue reading
Emotions Finally Explained
There are internal emotions and external emotions. The difference is important (not only) in marketing, persuading, selling. Excellent article by Dr. Ing. LUCIANO BIONDO. Read it here
Beautiful article by my good friend Linda. Read it here
Book Recommendation: Little Tree
Smile, breathe, and go slowly!
8 Discipline-Mastering Practices
A craftsman masters his trade by repeated practice, with care and continual learning, with devotion to the purpose.
It takes the same kinds of things to master the craft of discipline:
- Repeated practice
- Single-minded devotion to the purpose
- Continual learning
- Care
I’ve been giving some thought to what it takes to master the craft of discipline, and have been following some practices that I’ve found extremely useful:
- Do the task even when I’m not in the mood. Procrastination is such a common problem that I believe it to be universal. The main reason we procrastinate, without admitting it to ourselves, is, “I’m not in the mood to do this.” The task is probably difficult or confusing, and so it’s uncomfortable, and you’d rather go to things that are easier, that you’re good at. You’d rather clean your house or trim your nails or check your email than start writing the next chapter of your book. But if we wait until we’re in the mood, we’ll never master life. Instead, practice this: set yourself to do a task, and start doing it, no matter what. Don’t let yourself check email, or social media, or go clean something, or do a quick chore or errand. Sit down, and do it. It will be uncomfortable. You can still do it even if it’s uncomfortable.
- Exercise even when you really don’t want to. Yes, this is the same thing as procrastinating – we put off exercise for many reason, usually because it’s hard and we’d rather do something easier. But I look at it as something I need to do to take care of myself, like eating healthy food and brushing my teeth. You wouldn’t skip brushing your teeth for a week, would you? Your teeth would rot. Similarly, skipping exercise for a week rots your body. Instead, practice this: tell yourself you’re going to do a workout/run at a certain time, and then show up. Do it even if you’re tired or feeling lazy. Ignore the lazy feeling, the distractedness, and suck it up. You’ll find that you feel great for having done it. Either way, you’ll start to master doing things that are uncomfortable.
- Sit with a little hunger. We tend to panic when we get hungry, and run for the nearest junk food. What I’ve learned is that you can be hungry and it’s not the end of the world. We don’t always need to be stuff and satisfied with crazy delicious food. Instead, practice this: don’t eat if you’re not hungry. When you get hungry, sit there for a moment and turn to the hunger, and see how it really feels. It’s not so bad. This practice isn’t to make you starve yourself (not great), but to show you that a little discomfort won’t ruin your life, and that you can make conscious choices about when and how much to eat.
- Talk to someone about something uncomfortable. We avoid difficult conversations, because they’re not fun. They’re scary, uncomfortable. But that leads to all kinds of problems, including resentment, a worse relationship, worsening of the situation, and more. Instead, practice this: When you have a problem with someone, instead of replaying the problem in your head, talk to the person in a gentle, compassionate way. Try to see the situation from their point of view, not just yours. Bring it up with a simple, “Hey, can we talk about ___?” And tell them how you feel, without accusing them or making them feel defensive. Ask them how they feel about it. Approach it with the attitude of finding a solution that works for both of you, that preserves your relationship. What you learn from this is that pushing through this uncomfortable situation will resolve a lot of difficult problems.
- Stick to a habit. One of the hardest things people face with changing a habit is sticking with a habit after their initial enthusiasm dies down. It’s easy to do a habit for a week – but what about pushing through the second and third weeks? It gets a lot easier after those weeks, but a lot of people drop the habit too early. Instead, do this: Commit to one small habit for two months. Make it just 5 minutes a day, and do it at the same time each day, having as many reminders set up as possible so you don’t forget. Track the habit on a calendar or log, so you see your progress. Show up every day and do it. You’ll start to master the formation of new habits, which will open up all kinds of changes.
- Turn toward the problem. When we have a problem, often we avoid even thinking about it. Think about whether you have one of these problems: you’ve been avoiding exercise, you’re overweight, you’ve been avoiding a major project, you put off dealing with your finances, you’re unhappy about some situation in your life. Often these are uncomfortable situations, and we’d rather not face them. Instead, practice this: See the obstacle as the path. Don’t avoid the obstacle (the difficult situation, the problem you fear), don’t go around it, don’t ignore it. Turn toward it. See it. Acknowledge it. Figure out what’s going on. Find out how to navigate within the problem. You’ll find that it’s not easy, but not as bad as you thought, and you’ll be happy you did it. And more importantly: you’ll get stronger from facing the problem.
- See the good in the activity. Discipline is really learning that you don’t need some incredible reward – there’s inherent good in just doing the activity. For example, if you’re going to eat healthy food, you don’t need to make it taste like your favorite dessert or fried food (rewarding food) – you can just enjoy the activity of eating fresh, healthy food. If you’re going to exercise, it doesn’t need to give you a flat stomach or nice arms – you can just enjoy the activity. Practice this: No matter what the activity, find the good in doing it, and the activity becomes the reward.
- Meditate. People think meditation is difficult or mystical, but it’s fairly simple. Practice this: Take 2 minutes to sit still, and focus on your breath, noticing when your mind wanders and gently returning to the breath. There are lots of other ways to meditate, but this is the simplest, and it shows you how to watch the urges that come up, and see that you don’t need to act on those urges.
You might not be good at these at first, but that’s why you practice.
You’ll learn, through these practices, to get good at discomfort, to show up even when you don’t feel like it, to stick to something even when the enthusiasm wanes, to not act on your urges right away, to enjoy any activity as a reward in and of itself.
Does life need to be pure discipline and no fun? Of course not. But if you can enjoy any activity, in the moment, why not learn to master something that will pay off for you in the long run? (Leo Babauta)
Online Summer School 2015 – Define your real meaningful purpose in life, and find ways how to live it
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My Favorites March 2015: Great Stuff I’ve Found Recently
My monthly “My Favorites” routine includes posting links to great content I ran across, to encourage you to check them out if they sound interesting for helping you to live a meaningful life. Enjoy!
Why Do We Search For More in Our Lives?
The Calm Approach
When we are anxious, it’s because we want to be somewhere at a certain time (if we’re driving), or want something to happen the way we want it to happen (in the rest of life). But this deadline, this goal, this need … it’s entirely self created.
We create the need to be somewhere at a certain time. We create the need for things to turn out the way we want them to turn out. We create the desire for other people to act (or drive) the way we want them to act or drive.
We create our own anxiety. And so we have the keys to solve our own problems.
Leo Babauta at his best; continue reading
10 Habits Of People Who Follow Their Dreams
I like best # 9. They’ve learned to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
They don’t get stuck in having all the answers, making things perfect or trying to gain comfort by controlling everything. Instead, they’re aware that they’re not going to see the next step until they make the decision to move forward despite the discomfort.
Read all of them here
Nature Is Speaking – Julia Roberts is Mother Nature
Book Recommendation: Me…Jane
Smile, breathe, and go slowly!
Why doing nothing is not an option
Last week I attended a social event as a guest speaker with my keynote about Living A Meaningful Life.
Most people expressed their sincere interest in 1-2-1 mentoring on this topic, especially in the form of online Skype sessions. One participant though had a real concern and was wondering if online mentoring/coaching/counselling – or whatever buzzword is used – can create the same results as face2face sessions.
Well, every coin got two sides.
Finding a qualified mentor/coach/counsellor in some places can be a challenge, and in remote areas, it might just not be possible. Skype mentoring/coaching/counselling puts clients in touch with mentors/coaches/counsellors from all over the world. Mentoring/coaching/counselling via Skype also permits a greater amount of confidentiality as well as being more convenient in terms of time than conventional mentoring/coaching/counselling.
Skype mentoring/coaching/counselling enables you to find a day and time that works with your busy schedule. Because there is no travelling required to a physical office, Skype mentoring/coaching/counselling saves you the time you could be spending in traffic. Online mentoring/coaching/counselling also has the convenience of allowing you to remain in the comfort of your own home.
And, you can benefit from the mentoring/coaching/counselling services from the comfort of your favourite chair. 🙂
On a technical note, mentoring/coaching/counselling online requires only an internet connection and a net-enabled device on which you can send and receive e-mail, and use video programs like Skype.
The disadvantage?
The parties need the right environment in which to work. They need privacy and – especially – the opportunity to develop trust in each other. Therefore a decision for working together should only be taken after 1 or 2 “test”-sessions or a longer Discovery Session.
BUT!
Regardless if one prefers face2face or online mentoring/coaching/counselling, doing nothing, not to at least see if and what possibilities there are to live a meaningful life, really is not an option.
Smile, breathe, and go slowly,
Dieter
My Favorites February 2015: Great Stuff I’ve Found Recently
My monthly “My Favorites” routine includes posting links to great content I ran across, to encourage you to check them out if they sound interesting. Enjoy!
6 steps to creating your own mini-retreat
Trying Not to Try
Modern science and Chinese philosophy tell us similar stories about how we think. Profound article by Edward Slingerland, a professor of Asian studies and the Canada Research Chair in Chinese Thought and Embodied Cognition at the University of British Columbia. Read it HERE
Is Life Predestined by Cosmic Will?
What’s Your “Why?”
Inspirational Leaders Have A Strong Sense Of Purpose.
If you think about it, you’re only going to follow someone if they clearly know where they’re going… and why.
In business, you know this to be true. Have you ever been stuck on a team with a “leader” who couldn’t clearly articulate why the group was doing what it did? Pretty hard to stay motivated. A team needs direction. A strong team of high-performers needs some direction, but more importantly, leading such a team requires inspiration. So any leader who aspires to the description of “inspiring” needs to start with a strong sense of purpose. On Leadership
Smile, breathe, and go slowly!