Great stuff I’ve found recently: Leaders, Spiritual Leadership, Comparing & Living Happily?

 

I’ve got some quirky, interesting facts for you, and maybe a little wisdom.

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Developing Mindful Leaders

What if cultivating a successful inner life was front and center on the leadership agenda?
 
On Leadership, Humility and Authentic Spiritual Leadership
Corruption, greed, and addiction to power and control over others ooze from the pseudo-leadership of so many contemporary leaders.
 
The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.

Of course, you are comparing your reality to a fantasy

How to Live Happily?
Addressing a group of students and faculty at the IIT campus in Chennai, India, Sadhguru answers a question on how to maintain joy and happiness regardless of the external circumstances. 
 

 

Smile, breathe and go slowly,

Dieter Langenecker

   Dieter Langenecker

 
From Ambition to Meaning
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7 Ways Meditation Can Transform Your Life

While teaching a workshop I asked the group: “If you like to suffer then raise your hand.” No one raised a hand. So why do we create suffering for both ourselves and others?

Seems like we love to suffer as all the ways out of suffering are staring us in the face. If not, then why do more people drink alcohol than meditate, or why do more people eat fast food than get exercise? Smoking cigarettes is a major cause of death in the western world, as is sugar consumption leading to obesity, so why do we love everything that is bad for us and keep away from things that do us good?

Presumably it’s because we really don’t like ourselves too much and live in such a way that our own needs take second place. Or we believe we’re invulnerable and will go on forever: “Things like that don’t happen to me!” But once a cycle of self-denigration gets started it takes a huge amount of determination and motive to make real changes. For the mind is a perfect servant as it will do whatever it’s told, but it’s a terrible master as it fails to help us help ourselves.

Which can be even harder when our mind is like a deranged monkey, leaping from one thought or drama to the next, never allowing us time to be quiet, peaceful and still. Meditation can make a huge difference to this, which may sound farfetched but it’s a direct way to cut through the chaotic monkey mind that’s constantly making excuses and supporting our resistance. Yet so many people pay it so little attention. Drinking alcohol can kill and meditation can save, yet there are far more people who drink.

It is fascinating to note how the Buddha recognized suffering and it’s role in our lives all of 2,600 years ago. His basic teachings are the Four Nobel Truths: 1) life is suffering; 2) the reason for that suffering is because of our desire for things to be different to how they are; 3) the way to become free of suffering, which includes meditation; 4) the ultimate state of freedom from suffering.

Here are seven ways meditation can transform your life:

1. Chills You Out

Stress is responsible for 70-90% of illnesses, while quiet time is the most effective remedy for a busy and overworked mind. In a stressed state, it is easy to lose touch with inner peace, compassion and kindness; in a relaxed state, the mind clears and we connect with a deeper sense of purpose and altruism. Your breath is your best friend. Anytime you feel stress rising, heart closing, mind going into overwhelm, just focus on your breathing and quietly repeat: Breathing in, I calm the body and mind; breathing out, I smile.

2. Releases Anger and Fear

Anger can lead to hatred and violence. If we don’t accept our negative feelings then we are likely to repress or disown them, and when denied they can cause shame, depression and rage. Meditation enables us to see how selfishness, aversion and ignorance create endless dramas and fears. It may not be a cure-all, it’s not going to make all our difficulties go away or magically transform our weaknesses into strengths, but it does enable us to release self-centered and angry attitudes and generate a deeper inner happiness.

3. Generates Appreciation

A lack of appreciation easily leads to abuse and exploitation. So, start by taking a moment just to appreciate the chair you are sitting on. Consider how the chair was made: the wood, cotton, wool, or other fibers, the trees and plants that were used, the earth that grew the trees, the sun and rain, the animals that maybe gave their lives, the people who prepared the materials, the factory where the chair was built, the designer and carpenter and seamstress, the shop that sold it-all this just so you could be sitting here, now. Then extend that appreciation to every part of yourself, then to everyone and everything in your life: For this I am grateful. And see how your attitude to your world changes.

4. Develops Kindness and Compassion

Every time you see or feel suffering, whether in yourself or in another, every time you make a mistake or say something stupid and are just about to put yourself down, every time you think of someone you are having a hard time with, every time you see someone struggling, upset or irritated, just stop and bring loving kindness and compassion to yourself. Breathing gently, silently repeat: May you be well, may you be happy, may you be filled with loving kindness.

There is a reservoir of basic goodness in all beings but we often lose touch with this natural expression of caring and friendship. In meditation, we go from seeing our essentially selfish and ego-bound nature to recognizing that we are an integral part of a far greater whole, and as the heart opens we can bring compassion to our fallibility and humanness. Meditation is, therefore, the most compassionate gift we can give to ourselves.

5. Actives Harmlessness

Simply through the intent to cause less pain we can bring greater dignity to our world, so that harm is replaced with harmlessness and disrespect with respect. Ignoring someone else’s feelings or needs, thinking thoughts of revenge and dislike, affirming our hopelessness, or seeing ourselves as incompetent or unworthy are all causes of personal harm. How much resentment, guilt, or shame are we holding on to, thus perpetuating such harmfulness? Meditation enables us to transform this through recognizing our essential goodness as well as the preciousness of all life.

6. Inter-Connects

Without sharing and caring we live in an isolated, disconnected and lonely world. We can take meditation ‘off the cushion’ and put it into action as we become more deeply aware of our connectedness with all beings. From being self-centered, we become other-centered, concerned about the welfare of all. Then, reaching out beyond ourselves becomes a spontaneous expression of genuine generosity seen in our capacity to let go of conflicts or forgive mistakes, or in our desire to help those in need. We are not alone here, we all walk the same earth and breathe the same air; the more we participate, the more we are connected and fulfilled.

7. Invites You To Be With What Is

The very nature of life includes change and unfulfilled desire and a longing for things to be different from how they are, all of which brings discontent and dissatisfaction. Almost everything we do is to achieve something: if we do this, then we will get that; if we do that, then this will happen. But in meditation we do it just to do it. There is no ulterior purpose other than to be here, in the present moment, without trying to get anywhere or achieve anything. No judgment, no right or wrong, simply being aware.

Meditation enables us to see clearly, to witness our thoughts and behavior and reduce our self-involvement. Without such a practice of self-reflection there is no way of putting a brake on the ego’s demands. Stepping out of the conceptual mind, however, doesn’t mean stepping into nowhere or nothing; it doesn’t mean that there is no connection to a worldly reality. Rather, it is stepping into sanity and, more importantly, into even greater connectedness. Then we have no more need to do ourselves harm!

Do you have questions about meditation? Share them with me here.

 Dieter Langenecker

Dieter Langenecker

PS: If you want personal support for living your life in meaningful happiness visit  Personal Mentoring
WhoHappy
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Great stuff I found recently: Yourself, Gates&Buddha, Leaders&Doors, The Shift

Hope you’re doing well and are set for the weekend. It’s lovely weather here – I feel a relaxing Saturday coming on… Have a great weekend, Enjoy! (And do let me know about any comment or question you might have).

 

Know Yourself. Wait, what does that even mean?
If “know yourself” strikes you as squishy, soft, fuzzy, left coast suburban buddhist hippie-talk homilies – like it used to strike me – then let me break it down and toughen it up for you.
Because when you get it, it’s a lot tougher than the analytical subject-mastery behavioral neuro-babble that is too often celebrated in business today.

 

What The Buddha Might Say To Bill Gates
The generosity Gates is sharing is not the stuff many rich people are made of.

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.- Buddha 

 

Leaders Open Doors
Bill Treasurer’s new book Leaders Open Doors is exactly what the subtitle suggests: a radically simple leadership approach that I certainly can image would lift people, profits, and performance in any organization.

Leaders Open Doors

 

Dr Wayne Dyer ~ “The Shift “
In a nutshell: must watch.

wd

Smile, breathe and go slowly,

Dieter Langenecker

 Dieter Langenecker

 

From Ambition to Meaning:

 

 

19

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Ask Dieter September 2013

Listen to this month’s Ask Dieter; simply click on the image (the podcast slideshow is best viewed in full page mode):

zenbridge

Or read the transcript:

This month’s question from my portal “Ask Dieter: Directions
for living a meaningful Life”
 comes from Christopher in Zurich, Switzerland.

Question

 

 

In one of your previous answers here you were writing about the question “Is this everything life has to offer?”. I’m 49 years old and what you might call a “successful” person. And even so this is exactly the question I keep asking myself over and ober again.

I would like to find a path which goes beyond the material success, which is more spiritual. But everything seems to lead to a religious structure. So could you please tell me what is your definition of (the difference between) religion and spirituality, and how to get started with the later one. Thank you and best regards!

 Answer

 

Hello Christopher!

Thank you very much for your question(s)!
My definition (and there are hundreds if not thousands out there, just google it or look at wikipedia com :-); and at the end of the day you will have to find your own ), my definition of (the difference between) religion and spiriuatlity is two-fold:
1st) Both aim to explore the ultimate questions of mankind: “Who are we?”, “Why are we here”, and “How to live in harmony”, going beyond the physical appearances and what science can explain (for the time being).
And,
2nd) very simply: spirituality is religion without a God
As to how to get started on a spiritual path:
In the initial phase, do not worry about whether you are moving ahead or backwards because your logical judgments will be very misleading. When you sit for your meditation (which is the “tool”  or practicing field for a spiritual way of life), your legs will tell you that you are going backwards, and your family will also probably tell you to stop this nonsense. So in the initial phase, do not judge anything. It is always best to start a spiritual process with an unconditional commitment for a certain period of time. No benefit needs to happen to you. Just simply do the practice out of commitment for six months. After that, evaluate your life and see how peaceful, joyous and calm you are. What is it doing with you?
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any follow-up question!
Smile, breathe, and go slowly!
With kind regards

Dieter Langenecker
Dieter Langenecker

PS: You can find an explanation of the different meditation approaches at http://zenecagate.ning.com

“Ask Dieter: Directions for living a meaningful Life” is a monthly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each month, I’ll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “Ask Dieter” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that in answering your questions I may provide you with wisdom inspirations that in committed application will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at:  www.langenecker.com/askdieter.html

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Great stuff I found recently: Judge, Ego/Self, Money

Time to take a short break! Food for Thought; best to be consumed with coffee or tea. Enjoy! (And do let me know about any comment or question you might have. I’ll answer within 24 hrs; usually).

Becoming a Better Judge of People 

In business and in life, the most critical choices we make relate to people. Yet being a good judge of people is difficult. How do we get better at sizing up first impressions?
Find the answer here: Becoming a Better Judge of People

 

Listening to Your Ego, or Your True Self?
For most people, ego becomes an issue only when someone has too much of it and is considered egotistical – and even then, a big ego is often equated with drive and success. In many spiritual traditions the ego is seen as the false self. There are many reasons for this.

 

Money Matters
…there is nothing right or wrong about money…It is just that if money does not stay in your pockets and goes into your head, misery will come.

Smile, breathe and go slowly,

Dieter Langenecker

 Dieter Langenecker

 

The yardstick of success is not measured by fame and wealth;
it is measured by your level of understanding of who you are,  
why you are here and where are you going from here. (Tulshi Sen)

 

churchill
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Achieving Without Goals

Have you ever had a long amazing conversation with a friend, that took all kinds of turns neither of you could possibly have expected when you started the conversation? Wasn’t it awesome, to riff off each other, to explore unforeseen territory, to be free to wander and enjoy the time together?

What if, instead, you had a definite goal for how the conversation should go when you start out? A definite path and outcome of how you want the conversation to turn out? Let’s say you have an agenda, and every time one of you wandered off the agenda, you forced yourself to get back on it.

Would the conversation be better or worse, with a set outcome? Is it better to be free to wander, or to be set on one predetermined path?

I submit that the wandering is much better, much more amazing.
This is the goal-less path.

Why Work Without Goals?

For many years I was fixated on goals, but at the same time was also simplifying my work life and working on being more content.

I realized two things:
– Goals (wanting to improve) are not consistent with contentment (being happy with where you are).

– Goals are not necessarily necessary (I thought they were for a long time, but they’re not) – and so using my minimalist philosophy, they should be ruthlessly eliminated.

And so I decided to experiment, and see whether goals were really necessary. I found out that they weren’t.

Here are the results of my (mostly) goal-less experiment:
* We often think goals are necessary to achieve something, but in reality they’re not.

* Goals, as I define them, are having a set outcome … but why is that outcome the only good outcome? There are many, many great outcomes, and being fixed on one is very limiting.

* Goals are completely made up, with not a lot of information about what will happen in the future as we work on them. We invent them, out of some fantasy of how we want the future to go, but in truth they’re not realistic. And we can’t predict or control how the future will go, so setting goals is a useless activity.

* When we fixate on goals, we shut ourselves off to new opportunities that open up in different directions – opportunities that we couldn’t have foreseen when we started out. But because we’re fixated on the goal, we don’t allow ourselves to go in this new direction.

* When we fail to reach this fantasy outcome (which is often), we feel bad. But if we let go of the fantasy, we can just enjoy the work.

* When we are fixated on achieving a future outcome, we are not looking at where we are, nor are we happy with where we are. We can’t be, because we are looking at the future goal, and this is what motivates us (not enjoying the moment).

* When we have a future-oriented mindset, it doesn’t end if/when we achieve the goal. We achieve the goal, then immediately look to the next goal.

That’s just the start of the discussion – I could go on and on about this, but essentially this is a big illusion that our society believes in.

The 4 Principles

So how do you work without goals? Do you just do nothing? No, of course not … people who love what they do will wake up wanting to do something fun, something that benefits the world. I know this because even without a set goal, I am always excited to work on something.

How does this work? Instead of working with a fixed outcome (goal), work from moment to moment, using principles that work for you. Each moment, don’t ask “am I doing something to move me to my goal?” but instead ask, “Am I doing something right now that’s based on one of my values or principles?”

Your principles will differ from mine, but here are the ones that I’ve found work for me:

Love what you do. This seems obvious, but so often people do things that they’re not excited about. I try to find things that I love doing, and if there’s some mundane task I have to do for some reason, I either eliminate it or find a way to enjoy the hell out of it.

Help others. I am strongly motivated by the desire to do things that will help people – my readers, my friends, my kids, people in need. And so this principle guides everything I do, including all of my writing. I highly recommend it.

Build relationships & trust. Each thing you do, personally and for your business, should be building a relationship. I build relationships with my readers by being authentic and trying my best to help, and build relationships with friends & family in the same way. Being trustworthy as much as humanly possible is a great way to build relationships, so these two go hand-in-hand.

Be curious. When you’re curious about other people, and about life in general, you tend to be a better listener, a better friend, more informed, and have fun each step along the way.
Those four principles work well for working with no goals. They also work well for having a goal-less conversation, or wandering the world, or collaborating with people.

So wake up in the morning, and instead of figuring out how to further your goals, ask what you really feel like doing right now. What will make you happy now, instead of some distant time in the future? I submit that long-term goals, some nebulous fantasy in the future, aren’t that motivating – we’re more motivated by something that can pay off now, which includes things that make us happy as we do them.

As you figure out what you feel like doing right now, consider these four principles. And then take action, knowing that you’re helping people, building trust and relationships, making yourself happy, and satisfying your natural curiosity about others and the world.

Then repeat that, each step along your daily journey. Each step along the way, you’re doing something you love, something in line with your principles. You’re not just lining yourself up with some predetermined outcome, but you are already there.

Questions & Answers
Some common questions I get asked a lot:

Q: Isn’t having no goals a goal?
A: It can be a goal, or you can learn to do it along the journey, by exploring new methods. I’m always learning new things (like having no goals) without setting out to learn them in the first place.

Q: So how do you make a living?
A: Passionately! Again, not having goals doesn’t mean you stop doing things. In fact, I do many things, all the time, but I do them because I love doing them.

Q: Isn’t it easy for you to give up goals now that you’re successful?
A: Sure, that might make it easier, but really it’s not the success that has helped me give up my goals … it’s my contentment with who I am. I know that I’m a good person, and am happy with who I am, and know that I’ll be OK no matter what outcomes turn up. That’s true for pretty much everyone reading this, no matter how much “success” you have.

Q: Don’t you really have goals when you do something, like write this article or try to follow your 4 principles?
A: Sure, you can call them that if you want. The terminology isn’t that important – the principles are. My definition of goals is having a predetermined outcome (something you want to happen in the future), and most people don’t call “write an article” a goal. Their goals are more along the lines of “get a lot of readers” or “make a lot of money” or “complete X”. So if you want to say I have goals, that’s fine, but just realize that for me, the process itself is the goal.

Q: How do you start down the path of no goals, if you’re used to having goals?
A: Just start following the four principles (or your own principles) right now. Like, in this very moment. When you find yourself coming up with a goal (and I do all the time), recognize that, and realize that it’s a fantasy, and let it go, gently. (Thank you, Leo)

Do you have questions about the goal-less path? Share them with me here.

Dieter Langenecker

Dieter Langenecker

PS – just in case you’re the sort of person who skips straight to the PS 😉 the short story is that a goal is not necessarily necessary – there are many, many great outcomes, and being fixed on one is very limiting.

 

“Being myself includes taking risks with myself, taking risks on new behavior, trying new ways of being myself, so that I can see how it is I want to be.”

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Great stuff I found recently: Escape, Perfectionism, Be Smart, Pause, The Magic Button

If you are on vacation right now have yourself a glass of wine -otherwise a cappuccino –  and enjoy! And let me know how you like it:

Why can Steve McQueen jump the high wood fence on his motorcycle but we can’t escape from a bad relationship, change jobs, start a business, or lose 20 pounds?
Find the answer here: Escape

 

Perfectionism is a way of closing off and controlling things. It may look pretty on the outside but in reality it’s cold, isolated and dark. It’s the cracks that let the light in, anyway. So, go on and ease up a bit.
Let some light in and shine on! Perfectionism

 

“Our mission in life should be to make a positive difference, not to prove how smart we are or how right we are.”       (Peter Drucker)

 

Pausing allows you to take a beat – to take a breath in your life. As everybody else is rushing around like a lunatic out there, I dare you to do the opposite. Pause

 

Make everything ok 🙂 : The Magic Button 

 

Smile, breathe and go slowly,

Dieter Langenecker

 Dieter Langenecker

PS:  Did I already mention “Life Mastery”?  Get a free mentoring session at www.langenecker.com/lifemastery.html ? Oh, I already did mention it? Sorry, I guess I did it again.
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